|
LIFE JOURNEY
by Mr.
Adam Penrod
University of North Texas (Denton) Junior majoring in
Geography, with a minor in Archaeology, currently studying in Israel and
assisting Mr. Vendyl Jones on his archaeological digs at Qumran.
Text of an Address given by Mr. Adam Penrod on
Wednesday, October 13, 1999 at the Second Jerusalem Conference on the
Noahide Covenant and Laws, which was sponsored by the Noah Institute of
the Root & Branch Association and held at the Israel Center in
Jerusalem of the Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations of America)
MITZPE YERICHO, Yom Sheini (Second
Day -- "Monday"), 29 Cheshvan, 5760 (November 8, 1999), Root
& Branch:
I still have vivid childhood memories of my father's search
for G-d. His search was driven by a simple need to learn everything he
could about G-d. His search was also the beginning of a journey for me.
That journey has led to a wonderful spiritual awakening.
My dad's explorations led our family through the doors
of many Churches. I can recall the noisy assemblies we found in
Charismatic circles...then there were the more sedate Baptist gatherings.
During an energetic Seventh Day Adventist lecture, woven from a masterful
tapestry of history and theology, I found myself mesmerized. It was
stunning. Though the talk was colored with a dash of Biblical doom and
rapture, I was drawn to the dramatic sagas of faith and the stirring tales
of its heroes in the so-called "Old Testament".
I remember being told that if we loyally attended the
required number of lectures, we would receive a Bible. It was a King James
text that came complete with a small Hebrew and Greek dictionary. That
little lexicon made me aware that a translation is just a translation. It
is not something on which you stake the fate of your soul.
This was the beginning of my family's Seventh Day
Adventist experience and the first sign of my interest in things Biblical.
That church in Moore, Oklahoma, though small, was full of love and genuine
fellowship. Every Saturday, after the service, we enjoyed potluck dinners
full of warm conversation. We felt it was a wonderful thing to be in that
tiny Church.
My father was drawn to what he believed was a
"true" form of Christianity. He felt it reflected a valid return
to the roots of faith...something close to the Jewish roots.
Sometime later we left Oklahoma and that little church
so that my father could attend Parker Chiropractic College in Dallas,
Texas. It was in Arlington, Texas that my parents decided we should live.
It was there that we attended a lecture on Noah's Ark
by a most fascinating personality. He was a Texan who expounded on the
tiniest of details of the ark. Beginning his lecture from a seemingly
non-related point, he merged all the elements together with seamless ease.
His name was Vendyl Jones. It would be several years before I would hear
that name again.
One summer day while engrossed in my favorite useless
pastime -- watching television -- my parents came home to announce that
they had met the "real Indiana Jones". Roused from my boredom, I
leapt up, "You mean you met Harrison Ford?!!"
"No, no, no they replied, we met the real Indiana
Jones, the guy they based the movie on!"
"Does he have a whip?" I asked.
It was, of course, the same Vendyl Jones who had spoken
on the Ark. They went on to explain that even though Vendyl didn't carry a
whip, that the film character was based on him. "Curious," I
thought, "How could he be the real Indiana Jones and not have a
whip?"
The next weekend my parents asked me if I would like to
attend a Torah class taught by this real-life Indy. I wasn't too sure what
a Torah class was. It sounded like some weird cult thing. I declined,
unwilling to let my favored place on the couch get cold. After all, I
couldn't pass up some mind numbing television show.
Thankfully, my parents didn't give up. They continued
in their attempts to interest me in Torah Class...I finally joined them
one Sunday afternoon.
I still remember the Torah Parsha being taught that particular day. It was
Parshat Balak. I was unprepared for what would follow as I sat in class.
Though I could see this was no real Indy, I could see that this older
gentleman with his homespun humor was a real teacher. Vendyl's mastery of
the text and his deep understanding of its meaning was remarkably apparent
with every word he uttered. This down-home sage transfixed me.
As he wrapped up the Parsha, he related the zealotry of
Pinchas. The Torah describes how Pinchas took his spear and pierced both
the Midianite woman and the son of Israel. My first thought was,
"this is in the Bible?" Vendyl continued to tell how Pinchas was
able to carry the pair of them on the spear without any blood being
spilled, which would have rendered him ritually defiled.
I knew that this knowledge came from some other place
and not just a simple reading of the Bible. I had never been taught
anything like this in Church. Listening to this master expound the Torah
lit a spark in me. This spark was very small for a while, but eventually
became a burning hot flame.
I continued to attend these Torah classes with my
parents. But I was still calling myself a Christian. My father wanted me
to read Vendyl's book "Will the Real Jesus Please Stand?" It is
out of print, but somehow my father managed to get a copy.
Within its pages I discovered something startling:
Vendyl denied the deity of Jesus. I was so disturbed by this concept that
I was unable to finish the book. I believed that I would never pick it up
again.
Still, the book had cited certain issues that continued to roll around in
the back of my mind. It raised serious questions that I really didn't want
to answer.
It was during this same period that I harbored dreams
of becoming a world-renowned comic book artist. I would sit at my drawing
table and fantasize about a career drawing the likes of Superman, Batman,
and the Incredible Hulk. The thought of the attendant fame and fortune
drove me to improve my technique and drawing skills.
I would create worlds in my mind the likes of which had
never before been dreamt of. My characters all had their place in my
little universe, and I would decide their fate. I would often show my art
to my parents, and relate the exciting adventures of my characters.
One day, I remember my father telling me: "There
are things in life that are far more interesting than anything you can
create in your mind."
My first reaction was to tell him, "Thanks for not taking my life
seriously". Actually, he always has taken my life seriously. Time and
a little maturity have made me realize that. Though my father's words
lingered, I continued forward, in my chosen profession.
I finished High School with an eye towards attending
college. I didn't really want to go to college, though. It would keep me
busy until I got a job as a comic book artist. At each of the many Comic
Book conventions I attended, I would show my artwork around to all the
comic book companies. At one of the tables I met a young working artist. I
showed him my portfolio and he gave me his phone number. We were to soon
become very good friends.
I continued to dream of breaking into the comic book
field. My fantasy was, of course, to become wealthy beyond reason. I even
imagined living such a spectacular existence that a movie would be made of
my life story. But reality finally intruded on my little dream when I
realized that you "can't take it with you." I would eventually
die, and my efforts be forgotten. In the end, my life would have little
meaning.
Deep in my soul I knew that there was something more to
life than glory and riches. There is a Creator of the Universe who will
eventually stand in judgement of my soul. I decided that it was more
important to please the Creator than myself. But, I wasn't really sure how
to proceed.
The artist friend from the Comic Book Convention called me one day and
told me he had finally met a girl he really liked. In the past, he had
complained about being single. At a comic book store in Bedford, Texas, he
met a young lady whose sister was also looking for someone. He went on to
tell me about their date.
The two of them had attended something called
"Fire by Night". They had listened to a preacher who managed to
work them all into a frenzy of salvation. My friend was swept up in the
whole thing, and that night he accepted Jesus as his lord and savior. I
thought to myself, "this is amazing, perhaps this is just what I
needed". My friend invited me to attend the service with him on the
next Friday night.
The preacher was certainly electrifying. He told of his
sinful past and how he eventually came to Jesus. His tale of redemption
took us from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other. We were held
spellbound by his dramatic, poignant tale. Finally it came. The preacher
said that if we wanted to accept Jesus into our life...do it now.
I was so emotionally charged that I was compelled to join the others. I
rose and said the magic words that, "I accept Jesus into my
life".
My friend was happy to see that I was joining him on the path to eternal
life. They ushered all the new converts into a room, and explained to us
how to attain a closer relationship with G-d. We were instructed to read
the Bible on a regular basis.
Oddly, they didn't tell us to start at the beginning,
in Genesis. They didn't even tell us to start with Matthew, the first book
of the Gospels. We were told to begin in John. Why start in John, I
wondered to myself.
I didn't realize it then, but this was designed to immediately
indoctrinate the new Christian into the belief of the deity of Jesus.
I went home from the emotionally charged event and
opened that same Bible I had earned all those years ago at the Seventh Day
Adventist lecture. Turning straight to the Gospel of John, as I was
instructed, my studies began. I remembered thinking, "I don't know
what's going on, or who these people are".
My mind raced back to Vendyl and my first Torah class.
I recalled the great ease with which the scriptures seemed to yield their
secrets to him. I decided that the best place to start my learning was
"In the beginning..."
After a couple of weeks, I felt that I should attend a
Church. But I wasn't sure which one. I tried a few at random but couldn't
find one I liked. By this time the emotional high from the "Fire by
Night" had worn off. And no one seemed to have any real answers to
all my new questions.
I was emotionally drained. I had been bought and sold in a spiritual
pyramid scheme...it was multi-level marketed Christianity. The speaker
revs up your emotions and before you know what you're doing you've got
your wallet open, pleading with him to take your money...or your soul.
That's what happened at that "Fire by Night".
I remembered Vendyl's book and decided that I should
give it another chance. As I began to read his book once again, I found
myself fascinated rather than repelled. I decided that I should begin
attending Torah class, again, on a regular basis, instead of going to
Church.
My only hope was to pursue true understanding and beware of emotional
manipulation. At this point I began to feel very hostile towards
Christianity. I felt betrayed, angry, hurt, and scared as well. I felt
that Christianity had lied to me. After all, the Greek ("New")
Testament says, "...I am the way the truth, and the life." [John
14:6] It was beginning to look like there wasn't much truth in the New
Testament. Still it is hard to divorce oneself from the Church, and from
Jesus. It is usually a bitter process.
I felt that it was time for me to set out on a new
course in life. I decided to move to Oklahoma, attending the East Central
University in Ada. While there I decided to attend a Bible study that my
sister told me about. The Bible study would focus on the first book
Genesis
I was excited to learn Torah and by now I was more familiar with the
Tanach than with the New Testament. The study was led by one of the
professors on campus. We became friends and would often talk on a variety
of subjects usually relevant to the Tanach. He encouraged me in my studies
of the Tanach. He also encouraged me to pursue some sort of History
degree, instead of the Business degree I was then pursuing.
I had come to the notice of some prominent Christian students, and during
rush week I was asked to pledge the Christian fraternity. But I asked the
president of the fraternity to come to my house. I needed to resolve some
relevant issues before joining this group. We met at my Grandmother's
house later that week. I told him that we needed to discuss the deity of
Jesus. I also told him that I wanted to let him know my feelings on the
trinity now, rather than later.
The problem was that I didn't think Jesus was G-d. He
sat there for a few moments and then looked at me and said: "Well,
the trinity is a very fundamental Christian belief. If you don't believe
Jesus is G-d then you're not really a Christian." I immediately
realized that he was right. I wasn't a Christian. But if I wasn't a
Christian then what was I?
After the completion of the semester I decided to
return to Texas to work. Back home, I knew I wanted to attend Torah class
again.
During my stay in Oklahoma, I had continued to seek the truth of the
scriptures by other means. I would often e-mail Jim Long and Elias Baron
with questions regarding Torah. Both would respond to all my inquiries. I
was continuing to progress away from Christianity.
When I returned to Texas I attended the Torah classes
every weekend. Jim was leading the classes while Vendyl was in Israel
taking care of business. I would come to class, buy books, read, and I
learned a great deal. I knew I wasn't Christian, so I was determined to
find out where I fit into the great scheme of things. I knew in I my heart
that the Tanach was true, and that the teachings I had encountered in
Torah classes came from the Jewish Sages.
Though my love of Torah was growing, I never considered
conversion to Judaism. I felt that it wasn't necessary. Vendyl, who had
studied Judaism for more years than I had lived, continued to live as a
gentile.
The question was "How do Gentiles fit into Judaism?" I soon
learned that Judaism was a Universal religion. It's universal in the sense
that it offers the non-Jew a relationship with G-d by observing the Seven
Laws of No'ach. I began to realize that I had a place in G-d's plan...as a
monotheistic gentile who observed the Seven Laws. From that moment on, I
was a practicing Noachide.
As I said, the process of divorcing myself from the
Church was a difficult one, though I hadn't been much of a Christian. My
sister once asked me why I didn't go to Church. I told her that listening
to someone preach at me, telling me I'm sinful and would burn in hell
didn't do much for me.
If someone would teach me how to understand the
scriptures, I would know how to live my life. I would learn how to serve
G-d and know what is good to do and what is bad. I wasn't getting this in
Church; instead I was receiving less than a surface understanding of the
scriptures. I was never taught to learn and understand for myself. In
Arlington, at the Torah classes led by Vendyl and Jim, I learned all of
that and more.
The next fall semester I enrolled at the University of North Texas. There,
I had to learn how to live as a Noachide surrounded by Christians. There
were many other faiths on campus, but typically the Christians constantly
and openly challenge you on your beliefs.
My 2nd semester I began working at McConnell Hall as a
resident assistant. While there, I met several good and honest Christians.
But I was confronted on a regular basis with the challenges of
Christianity. My Christian friends provoked me to search even more
earnestly. I had to discover what I, as a Noachide, really believed.
This constant challenge to my faith has helped me to
grow stronger. I soon began to realize that although I was no longer a
Christian, I would still look at an issue with the eyes of a Christian. I
was often surprised to learn that on a lot of issues Christianity and
Judaism were at opposites with one another. I once thought that the only
thing that Christianity and Judaism disagreed on was that Jesus was the
Messiah, and the deity of Jesus. I was very wrong. I realized that I still
had much to learn.
I became very cautious at expressing my diehard
opinion. On one occasion, a Christian friend of mine asked me what I
thought about sin. I told him I wasn't sure. I understood sin and
atonement from a Christian perspective, but was still trying to grasp the
Torah perspective.
I recalled a lecture given by Rabbi Tovia Singer of Outreach Judaism.
Rabbi Singer's lecture dealt with the differences between the Christian
concept of the devil and the Jewish concept. As I was sitting in my room,
contemplating the difference between the Church and Judaism, it occurred
to me that Rabbi Singer might have a website. To my immense pleasure I
found that he did. It would prove to be a vital source of knowledge. It
gave me strength and resolved many doubts while allowing me to respond to
my Christian friends.
G-d has led me, on this journey for truth, to the
Torah. The Torah has allowed me to grow in knowledge. That knowledge has
given me a solid foundation for my beliefs. This journey would have
faltered long ago if my path had not been illuminated by the Jewish Sages.
I now know that we Noahides cannot make our journey without the leadership
of G-d's appointed priests and teachers...the Children of Israel. When
left to our own devices, we stumble on the path...
Early Christianity was a sect that grew out of Judaism.
With Paul at its head, it sought out gentile converts. These early
Christian gentile converts began as Noachides, but Christianity cut ties
with the Jewish people. Christians had to decide many issues on their own.
Men who came from pagan backgrounds made these decisions. They were
dissatisfied with the faith of their fathers, which were the pagan
religions of the past. They were attracted to Christianity, which would
pass itself off as a monotheistic religion. With the influx of pagans into
the ranks of Christianity it ceased to be monotheistic.
The Ben Noach faces a similar challenge today. A new
Noahide usually comes from a Christian background. He will often view
issues regarding Torah through the stained-glass lens of Christianity,
without even realizing it.
It is my concern that contemporary Noahides might begin
to err along similar lines as early Christianity. We need rabbinical
leadership to keep B'nai Noach on the proper path. I fear that some
Noahides will begin missionary work among other Gentiles. With their
newfound zeal for the Torah, they may start going door to door wanting to
share this wonderful truth, wanting to "win souls", so to speak.
It is my hope that the present Noahide movement would look to our Jewish
brothers as an example.
We should concentrate on inner perfection of ourselves.
To try and ascend the heavenly ladder to a closer relationship with the
Creator. When you begin self-perfection, you will have an effect on people
greater than anything you would ever have by spending millions of dollars
on popularizing your beliefs. It becomes a qualitative effect, and not a
quantitative effect. The former is of more value than the later.
I also feel that it is prudent for Noachides to stay
clear of any "messianic" groups. No matter how
"kosher" they may appear to be, why make the same mistakes? The
identity of the Meshiach does not determine our place in the world to
come. Those new to B'nai Noach might mistakenly join such groups and this
could prove troublesome in the future.
I also believe that we should clearly define the role
of B'nai Noach. In Judaism it is very clear that the words "B'nai
Noach" can refer to all mankind, since all men are descended from
Noach. However, the term "B'nai No'ach" has evolved to reflect a
specific belief system for certain non-Jews. This is important to define.
B'nai Noach in the modern sense should be defined
something like: "A specific group of Gentiles who observe the Seven
Laws of Noach and who have accepted the authority of Torah-observant
("orthodox") rabbis". Perhaps this definition needs a
little work, but I believe that it is necessary to prevent confusion in
the future.
It is likely that Christians who come in contact with
the Seven Laws of Noach might mistakenly assume that they are observing
all Seven Laws. Although many believe in the Trinity, those same
Christians somehow believe they are monotheistic. It is clear that those
Christians are violating the Noahide law against Idolatry, but it is sin
through ignorance.
Oddly, to a modern Christian, the Trinity seems to be a
perfectly rational form of worship for them, and somehow does not appear
to violate the sanctity of the Unity of HASHEM. I have learned that it is
necessary to be patient with Christians who are attempting to understand
B'nai Noach or Judaism.
We also need help with such issues as how to keep B'nai
Noach an organism, and not an organization. There are many issues that we
need rabbinical leadership to solve. What is needed is a Sanhedrin to rule
on these important matters, to help outline the relationship of the
Children of Israel with the Children of Noach, and to aid us in learning
our responsibilities to one another. We also need it for the benefit of
deciding Halakah (legal questions) for B'nai Noach.
As I progressed away from the Church many people helped
me. Foremost were my parents, who encouraged my search for truth. They
have always been very supportive of me, and I have the utmost respect for
both of them. Without my Father's own search for the truth, I would never
have learned how to seek, to question. I would have continued to accept
the "obvious" and ignore the truth.
My father has also always encouraged me to remain
tolerant of those who are still searching. My mother has always helped me
to balance my thirst for knowledge with a desire for spiritual
enlightenment and wisdom. Vendyl Jones and Jim Long served as my first
Torah teachers, pointing me in the right direction and allowing me to
choose my own path. There are others in the Torah class who have supported
me and taught me.
Now I am in the Holy Land -- the Land of Israel --
learning from the Holy Nation of Israel. Truly, they are a Nation of
Priests and each one is my teacher. My Christian friends have asked me in
the past, "How have the Jews served as a light to the Nations?"
If only we have eyes to see, every Son and Daughter of Israel is a
teacher. I learn from the righteous as well as the wicked, the successful
and the one that's only known failure. Every Jewish person no matter how
observant has taught me something.
It is from the observant Jews, though, that I have
received the greatest teachings. Selflessly and joyfully they have begun
to share with me the beauties and wonders of their Torah. This is how it
should be: the Children of Israel are the light to the Nations. It is a
light that continues to guide me on my life's journey.
Baruch HaShem.
Shalom from Mitzpe Yericho
Adam
Penrod
|